We’re taking OnSinch to the next level! While we’ve been your trusted partner in navigating the complexities of event and workforce management, we’ve also been listening to your feedback, dreaming big, and pushing the boundaries of what’s possible. So, buckle up and get ready for OnSinch 4.0 – the update that’s set to revolutionize the way you think about event management
New Features
Mood-Based Staff Allocation: Ever felt too grumpy for customer service or too ecstatic to be stuck in the back office? With our Emotional Intelligence Scanner, tasks are now assigned based on your mood. Our pending-patent technology can tell if you're a 'morning person' or a 'don't talk to me till I've had my coffee' type, streamlining productivity by aligning tasks with temperaments.
Instant Staff Cloning: Forget training and recruitment; our Cloned Workers feature creates duplicates of your top performers, equipped with all their skills and an impeccable work ethic untouched by human frailty. These eco-conscious photocopies are the ultimate in renewable resources, dissolving into the ether post-event — because who needs HR headaches?
Hologram Attendance: Say goodbye to mundane video calls and hello to OnSinch’s Hologram Attendance! Now, your team can be anywhere—or appear to be—thanks to cutting-edge holographic technology. Late for the event? Just beam your hologram on site, convincingly nodding along. Our platform ensures your hologram looks attentively engaged, even if you're actually binge-watching your favorite show in your pajamas.
Creative Bug Fixes
- We’ve finally stopped the Geo-location Attendance Check from inviting local wildlife to clock in, despite the racoons' admirable punctuality.
- Resolved the Self-Registration error so it no longer enlists the entire population of Luxembourg by accident. Sincere apologies to our Luxembourg friends for the unexpected party invite.
- Adjusted the Rating System to prevent an inflation of 'Superb' ratings for merely showing up with snacks.
- Adjusted the Wage List to include paying DJs in Beats Per Minute, leading to the fastest performances ever recorded.
- Enhanced Electronic Signatures to include a mild electric shock, ensuring signatories think twice.
This update redefines what's possible in the realm of festival management. While these features may seem a bit out of the ordinary, they underscore our commitment to pushing the envelope in event organization. Should you have any questions or require further assistance, our support team is ready to help.
Disclaimer
Before you rush to update your app, please check the date! Happy April Fools’ Day! While we can’t actually offer clones or holographs (yet), we promise to keep providing you with the best real features in OnSinch. Thank you for being such great customers, and here’s to making event and workforce management as seamless as possible - no jokes about that!
